Interior design need not be expensive. At Cardboard Royale, we have discovered that the most elegant seat in any home is a well chosen box with a flat top. We call it the Throne, and today we will show you how to make one.
Selecting Your Base
Choose a sturdy box, preferably one that once carried something dense, such as books. The box should be at least as tall as a standard cushion. Avoid anything that dents easily. A dented throne is a throne that has been challenged.
Preparing the Surface
Remove all tape, labels, and staples from the top. Flatten any flaps and tuck them inward. Smooth the surface with a paw until it is level, and then walk across it twice to test it. If it holds, it will hold.
Adding Comfort
- A small cushion in a rich colour
- A folded blanket for warmth
- A single feather, for ambiance
- A sprinkling of fur, which will appear on its own
Positioning
Place the throne in a location with a good view of the room, ideally near a window. The ruler of the house must see everything, including the door, the kitchen, and the sofa that is rightfully theirs.
The Ceremony
Once the throne is ready, climb up slowly. Turn around once. Settle down. Look at your subjects. Do not blink first. The coronation is complete when a nearby human says the words, “Oh, look at her,” in a quiet voice.
Pitfalls
A throne is not a trampoline. Repeated jumping will cause the top to cave in, leaving the ruler in an undignified position. If this occurs, step away calmly and say that you meant to do it.
Our design consultants are available for home visits, though they prefer to be visited at home.
Final Touches
A true throne is never finished. Add a small flag if you wish, made from a bit of ribbon and a pencil. Keep it away from the edge, as a flag tends to attract a paw. Our consultants note that a throne without a flag is simply a seat, and a seat without a ruler is simply a box.
This article is satire and offers no real design advice.