A box is an investment, and like any investment it requires care. With the correct upkeep, a Cardboard Royale residence can last for many weeks. Without it, you may find yourself with a pancake.
Daily Routine
Each morning, step carefully around the perimeter and inspect the walls. Look for dents, stains, and signs of structural fatigue. A small dent can be pushed out with a paw. A large dent should be treated as a feature.
Weekly Maintenance
- Rotate the box a quarter turn to even out wear
- Remove stray fur using a lint roller or a friend
- Check the flaps for fraying
- Replace any cushion that has been sat on too aggressively
- Remove any tape that has begun to unravel
Dealing With Moisture
Moisture is the enemy of corrugation. Keep your box away from open windows, leaking taps, and the dog’s water bowl. If the base becomes soft, do not panic. Move to a second box, and leave the first to recover for a few days. A tired box needs rest, as we all do.
Cleaning
Do not wash a box. Instead, wipe it with a dry cloth, or leave it in a sunny spot. A faint smell of cat is a mark of authenticity and should not be removed. Our experts describe it as the signature of the house.
When to Replace
A box should be replaced when it can no longer hold its shape, when the sides have collapsed, or when it has been flattened by a human who claimed it was clutter. Replacement boxes are available at the front desk, though most customers simply wait for the next delivery.
A Final Tip
Always keep a spare. A cat without a spare box is a cat in a crisis, and a crisis in a house is never a quiet one.
Seasonal Advice
In winter, line the floor of the box with a blanket or a discarded jumper. In summer, remove the lid and place the box near a fan. In spring, check for insects. In autumn, enjoy the sound of leaves against the wall, and consider whether you really need a lid at all.
This guide is fictional and for amusement only.